Anatomy of Peace
Wow, what a great book. Reading the cover I was very skeptical about its contents. I have read many airy-fairy books, only to be disappointed.
One very good concept they talk about is justification v's being true to yourself.
Example: When I was about 8 years old a older lady fell over and split her knee open. She totally freaked out. I stopped and got a shop owner to call an ambulance. I didn't get any thank you from her (I'm thinking she had bigger things to worry about). But, I felt really good about stopping and helping her out. I was being true to myself, I wanted to help her.
Years later, I became a bit more jaded about the world. I was walking to work and I passed a girl who has crying her guts out. I didn't do anything, which I hate to admit. I justified why I didn't need to stop, I came up with some good excuses. I'm going to be late for work, she can deal with it herself, a friend is probably on the way to help her out.
It seemed like a small thing at the time. But, the image of that girl is burned into my brain. I wish I had stopped. The price I payed for not being true to myself has outweighed 10 fold the small inconvenience it would have been to help her.
If you find yourself justifying why not do to something re-think about it and see if you can.
If the situation is dangerous IE getting into a fight or lending large amounts of money, use common sense there is a reason why we justify.
You will probably notice how much you do it, don't get bummed out and stop, because your justifying again why not to follow your path.
Once you reduce what you justify you will begin to see people for who they really are and your rules about how people should act will be lessened.
Thanks and please comment on similar things you have been through.