Monday, May 24, 2010

Anatomy of Peace

Anatomy of Peace

Wow, what a great book. Reading the cover I was very skeptical about its contents. I have read many airy-fairy books, only to be disappointed.

One very good concept they talk about is justification v's being true to yourself.

Example: When I was about 8 years old a older lady fell over and split her knee open. She totally freaked out. I stopped and got a shop owner to call an ambulance. I didn't get any thank you from her (I'm thinking she had bigger things to worry about). But, I felt really good about stopping and helping her out. I was being true to myself, I wanted to help her.

Years later, I became a bit more jaded about the world. I was walking to work and I passed a girl who has crying her guts out. I didn't do anything, which I hate to admit. I justified why I didn't need to stop, I came up with some good excuses. I'm going to be late for work, she can deal with it herself, a friend is probably on the way to help her out.

It seemed like a small thing at the time. But, the image of that girl is burned into my brain. I wish I had stopped. The price I payed for not being true to myself has outweighed 10 fold the small inconvenience it would have been to help her.



Tips:
If you find yourself justifying why not do to something re-think about it and see if you can.
If the situation is dangerous IE getting into a fight or lending large amounts of money, use common sense there is a reason why we justify.
You will probably notice how much you do it, don't get bummed out and stop, because your justifying again why not to follow your path.
Be awesome.
Once you reduce what you justify you will begin to see people for who they really are and your rules about how people should act will be lessened.

Thanks and please comment on similar things you have been through.

6 comments:

  1. I always seem to come back to travel with my examples, but it's a big part of who I am. For the last ten years, but particularly the last five, I have justified not travelling (extensively). My justifications for not travelling were things such as needing to earn superannuation so I can retire happily, or, 'I've just landed this great job, I need to work on my career'... Like a revolving door, my decision not to travel kept coming back around, scraping against my heels. Now that I've finally decided to be true to myself and take the leap and travel, I'm scared, but incredibly excited about the future and the adventures I'm sure I'll have.

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  2. Fanks, you're taking a massive leap. I don't have anything to compare to that :).

    Your the best!

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  3. Yep, me too. I have made one of the biggest decisions EVER for me, to quit a job I have been doing for 7 years. To make it an even bolder step, without another job to go to and with the intention of starting a business, with no former experience. Although this concept should be scaring the shit out of me right now, I feel revitalized, focussed, and overwealming sense of achievement purely through being true to myself. I feel this is the greatest gesture I've ever indulged in 'just for me', just through this feeling alone, I can now understand how people just 'make stuff happen' and follow their dreams. Something I once justified in the 'one day' or 'too hard' basket. It is SO exciting I wish I'd stopped 'justifying' a long time ago!

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  4. Awesome awesome awesome.

    I need to start doing bigger things. I'm getting shown up here.

    :)

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  5. I can't say I have one specifc point in my life i have applied this, but this has played a HUGE factor in keeping me sane.

    Memories of embarrasing things used to upset me so much I couldn't sleep, and they would make me twitch every time I remembered them (I till do sometimes), but I found the answer was not squashing them down more, but being Real about them.

    It hurt like a Motherbitch, but I had to go back and force myself through all the painful parts, and I realised, when you actually look at your memories, you never are half as bad as you think you are. Opinions get smooshed into them that aren't neccessarily true when you justify yourself.

    I waded through them 'being real' with myself (using your example, telling myself that, yes, walking past the girl was callus. I have no excuse), but to be honest, you don't even have to do that. Why do our minds demand we justify ourselves to ourselves? Now I just tell my mind to Shut Up

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  6. It was probably a good thing that I walked passed the girl. Today it gives me the motivation to stay on track.

    The most painful experiences can be catalyst's. It's not what happened to you, it's how you define what happened.

    Although, sometimes telling yourself to shut up and move is a great idea :)

    Cheers

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